Okay, so I was peeking for the latest and most convincing quackery on Vani's website. Here's a not-so-sweet (and not-so-true) hilariously awful quote I saw on her article "Ditch Refined Sugar Now!"

~"Did you know refined sugar is the devil? I avoid it whenever possible and that means in my cabinets too. I don’t buy white sugar EVER. The closest thing I get to white sugar is sucanat or organic evaporated cane juice and even then I don’t really use much of that stuff either. You see – there is little to no nutritional value in these refined sugars. Eating refined sugar is addictive, makes you fat, tired, depressed, age faster, makes your skin dull, weakens immunity and when consumed in excess causes all sorts of diseases… No thanks."~

Heh-heh, she thinks of food as either disease-reversing or instant-killing. Eating sugars can definitely be addictive and trigger (but does NOT cause) ADHD, but especially if you don't eat them in moderation. I have mild ADHD but that doesn't steal my attention from writing this article. Vani, please let me enjoy my frothy glass of vanilla almondmilk which contains cane syrup for once!


Even the yellow elephant in the background is aware of the fact that Food Babe is an overpaid shill, as well as a health-food-woo chef.

~"Organic Coconut Palm Sugar – This type of sugar is a perfect 1 to 1 substitute for any recipe that calls for regular old sugar. One of the big pluses of coconut palm sugar – it’s completely unrefined and not bleached like typical refined white sugar, helping to preserve all of its teeming vitamins and minerals. It is naturally high in amino acids – has 10,000 times more potassium, 20 times more magnesium and 20 times more iron than conventional sugar. Converting to this type of sugar could also, lower your risk of developing diabetes because it’s glycemic index is half of that compared to sugar."~

Nice try, Vani, for trying to let go of deliberate food-terrorism and fear-mongering about another 'chemical' she pokes at with her magic 'coconut stick'. But Vani tightly grasps onto the health-food-quacks and endorsement to reel in some big bucks in big time! Also, the wildly overestimated percentage of potassium (10,000 times more than cane sugar? SERIOUSLY?!) convinces her flock of following sheeple to believe that cane sugar is purely devoid of nutrition. Kinda reminds me of when David Wolfe claimed that "Deer antlers are cosmic substances.". By the way, if coconut sugar was used in ALL PASTRIES, COOKIES AND CAKES, THEY'D ALL HAVE A DARKER COLOR, WHICH IS NOT WHAT CHEFS USUALLY WANT! White sugar looks like cute little snowflakes on the sweets and, like white paper, lighter colored pastries look more appealing, for nobody wants a brown unbleached sheet of paper to do professional drawings.


If the Food Babe does not endorse it on Amazon, perhaps it causes cancer...

~"Date Sugar – Produced by grinding dried dates into a powder, it is completely raw and unrefined. Date sugar is equal parts sucrose, glucose and fructose and much higher in vitamins and minerals than refined sugar. For instance it has more than twice the amount of magnesium, iron and potassium. Date sugar doesn’t dissolve so it’s perfect for sprinkling on top of baked goods in the place of regular old powdered sugar. It won’t be as sweet but will give you that sugary boost you need to make desserts worth while."~

'Raw and unrefined'. I worry Vani's eating disorder will make it's way to the train station and hop aboard on the Raw Food-Woo train. The date sugar is also (harmlessly) conventional, and I have a clear recollection of the anti-conventional-food woo-filled article she made one time that condemned anything not organic... even with a non-GMO label. I pray I'll be able to sleep peacefully tonight without Vani's quackery haunting me beyond my dreams.


Don't get too carried away on organic foods, Vani! Conventional food will NOT give you cancer!

~"Food Babe’s Sweet Blend – Obviously this is my favorite way to sweeten cookies and cakes. One of the first steps I do in any cookie or cake recipe is to blend the sugar component with the fat component. For my special sweet blend, I like to use organic raw pitted dates, prunes, bananas and sometimes apple sauce or maple syrup together in the blender along with some fat – either organic coconut oil or melted organic butter. This kills two birds with one stone – all you have to do is add vanilla (or other flavorings) and the dry ingredients to make the most deliciously sweet cookies or cakes… I highly recommend this blend as much as possible when baking because it uses 100% whole organic ingredients – no processing and all nutrition."~

Apparently, Vani has no idea what the word 'processing' means. Most likely, she believes all sugar 'processing' is some sort of horrific stage where beet/cane sugar is violently boiled down to a solid, refined with bone char and titanium dioxide, and of course 'artificially flavored' to make it taste good again. Man has mechanically processed food for thousands of years, and our bodies have been processing (digesting and breaking down) food even longer than that! When you dry the prunes and dates used for Vani's Sweet Blend, you've processed them by eliminating most of the water. The apple sauce and maple syrup is boiled nicely to cook it and improve it's flavor; that's again, processing! Blend the ingredients all together and voila! You've processed the ingredients to make that GODDAMN blend! Did you hear me on that one?

~"So the next time you are itching to bake and make something sweet think about how many nutrients you can pack into your bite! Imagine your body enjoying all the minerals and vitamins it is receiving instead of attacking itself destroying your immune system and causing disease. Ditch the refined sugar – you have no excuses."~

Seriously? Vani has programmed herself to believe "If a food isn't healthy, it must be deadly..."

By the way, sweetness is sweetness, whether you like it or not.

Ditch your lies, Vani. It's time to shut that quack down.